Sample Paper Grading

Sample 1

A 3/5

B 7/10

C 3/5

Total: 13/20

The writer first describes what her scene is then briefly talks about Richard III’s personality. But she doesn’t have a very clear thesis to introduce her understanding of the play, and the structure of the paper.  In the second paragraph, she writes about the plot of her scene. Without telling that the role she plays is Margaret, I can read from her words. In the following paragraphs, she uses lots of lines from the play, which she didn’t cite. Also, there are too many original texts in her paper. Having detail is good, but having too much literary analysis and too many original texts are bad. As I keep reading her paper, I find out that her group’s blocking, and their way of performing is attractive, even though her words to describe it is not that fancy. By using a picture of their stage, I can clearly understand her meaning of “a cross stage”. The writer separates the whole essay into two parts. One is her understanding of the play, the other is her acting to her understanding when she is performing. The structure is clear, but maybe she can talks more about her self rather then her partner and audiences’ reaction. Another thing that needs to change is that the second paragraph from the bottom is too longs. She can improve that by separating her part of acting and other’s into two paragraphs. The last paragraph is weird that she is mostly commenting her self. What she should do there is to refine her essay by talking not only the literature and performance, but also a bigger view.

Sample 2

A 5

B 9

C 3

Total: 17/20

In her first and second paragraph, she briefly talks about her thinking before the play and the reason why she chooses this scene. Then she talks about how she acts the character of Ophelia and how her words were in a religious lexical set. In the following paragraph, she talks about different part of her speech. But the most serious problem is that the whole essay has not in text citation at all. She doesn’t even have citation for this play. But, the other parts in her essay are good. She includes lots of her thinking and what she does to represent the character’s personality. Her writing includes details not only from the book, but also from her movements. The writer writes both literary analysis and her actions in the same paragraph, which makes the whole essay a little bit disorganized. Maybe separate the acting and Literary analysis into different paragraphs, just like the first few paragraphs, can make the structure become more clear. Between all these paragraphs, the writer talks a lot about Ophelia’s personality, and how her personality makes her say her lines. I think conclude all of the personalities description in to one paragraph is a good way make the essay organized. The last paragraph is good. It tells how the writer feels after she performs the character of Ophelia, which makes a inclusion with her first and second paragraph.